THE GREAT PIZZA INCIDENT

This happened in the mid 80s when the car we had was a 78 Dodge Volare Wagon, complete with roof rack. I was working for Armour Handcraft in West Hazleton at the time and I either had a one day layoff or I was laid off for a longer time. In any event I had the day off and after lunch I had to run to Hazleton to pick up a few things, and then take the long way home through Ringtown because Joe Dettrey, who had been on of my inspectors at Purolator, had died and I wanted to go to his viewing. My wife said I should stop at a pizza shop in Hometown that we knew had good pizza, and pick two up for supper. They may have had a special on but I don’t remember that.
Anyway when I got to the pizza shop I exited the car and locked it, something I rarely if ever do, because of the purchases I had made in Hazleton earlier in the afternoon. After waiting for the pizzas I brought them out and set them on top of the car while I got out my keys and unlocked the door and got in. You will note I did not say I took the pizzas off the top of the car.
As I pulled out onto 309, I heard something moving around on the top of the car, which subsequently proved to be the pizzas, but which at the time I thought was merely a loose brace on the roof rack, because I knew one to be difficult to keep tight. I looked into the rear view mirror in time to see one pizza go sailing of the back of the wagon, depositing sauce and cheese on the tailgate. At this point I knew I had a problem and pulled to the shoulder. Managing to save about 75 percent of the remaining pizza on the roof, plus a little road grit, I continued on home looking like I was delivering a pizza with a free car attached.
Arriving home I turned down the alley instead of parking by the garage, because I knew I would have to clean the pizza remnants off the back of the car. My hungry wife and sons awaited the pizzas they weren’t destined to have. Stopping my pizza splattered car along side the house where I could get at the hose, I got out and said to 4 hungry mouths "Don’t even ask." I didn’t have enough cash to get any more pizzas either.